Saturday, 28 January 2012

Goal 48. Cut your laundering chore in half aka. marriage advice from a 26yr old newbie

When I first wrote this goal I was thinking about coming up with ways to reduce how often we washed clothes, getting a clothes rack (which we did), and setting up a place for "slightly dirty" but could be worn again clothes other than the floor, so they didn't just end up in the laundry.

But I am lucky enough to have gotten a completely different solution to this issue... Prince Charming has now taken over this chore! Let the thunderous applause roll!
Actually he took it over about 2 months ago but I just haven't updated the goal. It is so fantastic to have a husband who helps with household chores. But there are a few things I have learned about how to share chores, and other boring household-y things.

1. Play to each others strengths. The way this takeover occurred was I decided that Charming needed to take over some of the "repeated" tasks. I am in charge of all food, shopping & errands, appointments, social calendar, and the "cleaning calendar" which are tasks that happen less than weekly. Charming has always taken care of dishes. And we share the weekly things, with me usually doing the bathroom and bedroom and him doing vacuuming. Laundry was an shared task at that point and Charming agreed it would be a good thing for him to take over. It is still a little lopsided but that is ok. Mostly because I care about different things than Charming. I never ever fix anything. I RARELY take out the garbage, and until I started driving 95% of the time, I didn't get gas that often. Plus right now I don't have a full-time job, so I have a little more time than he does. Accepting that Charming will never cook like I do, or randomly choose to reorganize the linen closet and colour-coordinate the file labels in the filing cabinet is a good thing to do. Recognizing all the things he does well and then getting him to do it? This works for both of us.

2. Allow each other to do things differently. Not only do we care about different things, but we do the same things differently. When Charming took over doing the laundry I gave him the following instructions: "wash everything in cold water, read the labels, never hang wet sweaters and preferably don't wash them at all, if unsure look on the internet." He is a smart guy, and he can figure stuff out. Plus in some ways he is more detail-oriented than me, so he probably does some parts a little better. Giving him the space, particularly when he first started, to figure out how he wanted things to work was necessary for him to not just give up. If I had rushed in there and done it for him, or told him how to do every little thing he never would have really "owned it", and I would probably now be back to doing the laundry.

3. Communicate. Whenever talking about anything in marriage this one comes up. In this case the most important part was for Charming to agree to taking over the chore. If he hadn't agreed and I just thrust it upon him, well it probably wouldn't have ended well.

So I am super pumped to be sitting here right now writing this post, while Charming takes loads of laundry down to our little room. It is fantastic getting ready for work and just knowing there will be clean scrubs hung in my closet, even matched into outfits! And it is great to be married to my best friend!

Are you married to your best friend? How does this help you get stuff done in your marriage? Comment below!


  1. Good work! For both of you.

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